Honestly, if it weren’t for the fact that I’m somewhat juvenile in what I find hilarious, the “story” of this game wouldn’t have a single thing to offer. Things go off the rails a bit, side-quests consistently distract from the main plot, and significant developments are so obvious that even I saw them coming from a mile off without any prior knowledge of the series. Her spirit is then put into your head for… Reasons? And her body turns into something not unlike the monsters from Tokyo Gore Police. Set five years after the events of the first game, demons overrun the Earth, everyone is either a criminal or involved in criminal activities, and Wang is the world’s greatest assassin (apparently.) Zilla, an evil mob boss/genius scientist/possible demon whisperer, kidnaps Kamiko, injecting her with a serum that she developed, which begins turning her into a demon. That is to say, it starts off with a single, major plot point before getting lost for awhile in side quests, and then finding itself near the end again.
In regards to the story itself, it’s kind of a distracted mess. These moments don’t actually bear a lot of significance for the storyline, they just seem to be there to allow Wang to get more jokes and one-liners into the dialogue. A lot of characters and events are revisited as part of the overarching story, learning what happened after the events of the first game. I’ll state now that I never actually played the first Shadow Warrior remake, but that’s not really an issue since you’re given a drawn out recap over the course of SW2. Unless it was for the excessive dick jokes, because, honestly, they are pretty funny. It’s certainly not the worst game that I’ve ever played, but it has such an incredible aura of being a generic, late 2000’s shooter that I have to wonder why they even bothered. There’s a pseudo-RPG levelling system that informs the player about as well as Daikatana’s, and there’s enough gore present to make it feel like a DOOM fan-game. You have a vast arsenal of weapons but only really need one or two to finish the game. The protagonist’s name is Low Wang, for Christ’s sake. Let’s be honest and straightforward here: Shadow Warrior 2 (SW2) is Duke Nukem, except with ten times the dick jokes and only a fraction of the misogyny.
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